1 in 5 women are unhappy with their sex lives, a new survey finds
Think she’s satisfied between the sheets? Maybe not: 1 in 5 women are unhappy with their sex lives, according to a Lloyds Pharmacy survey commissioned by the Daily Mail.
The survey, which included responses from 2,000 women aged 30 to 80, also found that only 10 percent of women report having sex at least once a week.
Going through a dry spell? Here are five reasons she might not be in the mood.
SHE’S TOO TIRED
A quarter of women reported avoiding sex because they were too tired—which shouldn’t be too surprising, considering a 2010 poll from the National Sleep Foundation found that married people or couples living together were too tired for frequent sex 21 to 26 percent of the time.
Plus, if she regularly goes to bed earlier than you, it may also be a sign that she doesn’t find sex terribly exciting. (Here are four more signs you bore her in bed.) Try initiating sex earlier in the night to pique her interest.
THERE’S A LACK OF INTIMACY
Just over 10 percent of women reported avoiding sex due to a lack of intimacy. Feeling connected to you is crucial for her, since research shows that women have trouble reaching orgasm if they’re not psychologically aroused.
That means you can’t just push the right buttons physically—she has to feel mentally turned on, too. Need ideas? Here are 33 ways to turn her on.
SHE’S FINDS SEX PAINFUL
Sex should feel good—but 11 percent of the women in the survey actually reported feeling pain during sex.
In fact, a separate study of nearly 7,000 British women also found that 1 in 13 women feel physical pain during sex. This made women more likely to feel uninterested in sex. Plus, they also had more trouble getting wet and reaching orgasm.
Focusing on foreplay, oral sex, and a using little lube, when she needs extra help can help remedy the situation, says lead study author Kirstin Mitchell, Ph.D. (Here’s how you can make sure she’s enjoying sex just as much as you are.)
Focusing on making her feel good will lead to less pain and more arousal, which ultimately leads to more (and better) sex for the both of you.
SHE FEELS ANXIOUS
Thirteen percent of women in the Daily Mail survey reported avoiding sex because they were anxious.
This could potentially stem from any pain she’s feeling. In the study mentioned above, women often felt anxious during sex because they started anticipating painful sex, Mitchell explains. Feeling self-conscious about it can also make her feel nervous, as she may not want to bring it up and hurt your feelings.
If things feel awkward, just communicate with her: Openly ask if what you’re doing feels good and go from there.
YOU CAN’T GET HARD
This one’s a bit out of her control: Six percent of women surveyed reported that their partner had sexual issues.
While that may be out of her hands, it’s completely up to you to take care of your package.